Out of the mouths of babes this morning:
T-Rex: Look! My weiner’s so big. Why does it get so big? It hurts because it’s so big. It’s feels like a rock. [Etc.]
I don’t know, sweetheart. I only know that it will likely rule your life and get you to do stupid things one day when it is not behaving like a limp lizard.
Drama Girl: Mom, your stomach looks like it has a baby in it.
I don’t quite buy the whole Immaculate Conception thing so I’m pretty sure it’s just Mommy’s stress eating (noting a particular fondness for the Oreos I buy for YOU and your brother) and her lack of exercise. But thanks for noticing.
I love my kids and they amuse me. But some days I just want the duct tape handy to put over their mouths. And then I’ll wrap it around my bulging middle like a corset so I can stop sitting here at my desk sucking in my gut.