Hey, weren’t you supposed to be on a break?

Hey, kids. I’m only a few days into my blogging break, but they’ve been productive ones (which was the idea). I’m cranking through my editing — well, okay, some minutes cranking, others creaking.

Just wanted to let you know that you can find my latest Dinner for One on what it means to be called a single mom — and whether I should call myself one. I’d be interested if any of my single parent readers have felt this way before, too (or not).

Hope you’re having a good week!

Susan

A wee little break

Good news:

I received a request for my full manuscript from a second agent. Woohoo!

Bad news:

I haven’t figured out how to clone myself…and I still have a few more chapters to go with the polishing.

Good news:

I’ve matured tremendously (cough, cough) in the 2 weeks since turning 40, so I now accept that I can’t do — and shouldn’t attempt to do — everything at once.

Good/Bad/Whatever, Susan, whatev:

This all means I’m going to take a little blogging vaca for the next few weeks. Seeing that I haven’t been doing much lately anyway, I guess I’m just making it official. I appreciate your understanding and will check back as soon as I can!

PS. In the meantime, check out the great blogs and websites on my recently updated Links page.

Paparazzi go blind with horror and disbelief

And is that such a bad thing?

Dear Eva,

What pretty eyes you have without all that gunk around them! And look at those lips without lipstick!

(Wait — am I allowed to talk about lipstick? Is a big red, white and blue MCain cane going to sweep me off my own stage?)

Well, way to show those photogs, honey. You rock in my book — especially after I was all down and out that one day this spring when I wasn’t gussied up like you normally are (or at least like how I typically see you). I feel so much better about my food-stained t-shirt and chipped nails right now.

Best,

Susan

(Yes, peeps, this is the kind of headline that catches my attention. What can I say? There’s barely enough room left in my pea-brain to store my phone number, let alone anything more substantial — thank god for speed dial and that feature on the phone that records your own cell number.)

There are uber-moms, and then there are the rest of us

If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m not much of a political or “issues” blogger. I’m not much of a political or issues person, for that matter. But I couldn’t help but appreciate an opinion piece called “The Palin Effect: She makes me want to take a nap” that appeared in our Sunday paper todayespecially since a few years ago I unsubscribed to Working Mother magazine because it became too much for me to read about annoyingly-inspiring uber-moms who started their own companies, raised millions for nonprofits close to their hearts, and looked FAB-u-lous while chairing their children’s school fundraising drives.

Michelle Fossum writes:

Mrs. Palin is now the uber-woman, a mix of Hillary [Clinton] and Barbara [Bush]. A Hillara (or Barbary) who governs a state, bakes cookies, has teas, births babies after passing legislation and looks great, too. Can someone please tell me when she finds time to schedule a haircut?

In all honesty, I also have been guilty of multi-tasking myself into oblivion and the wee hours of the night. I work too many hours, get up too early and take on too many projects. I served on too many committees and worked too many part-time volunteer jobs.

But about three years ago, I decided to purge myself of many of these extraneous, often stressful, time-consuming tasks. One symbolic gesture was cancelling my subscription to Real Simple.

It’s a lovely magazine with all kinds of hints and tips and articles about de-stressing your life. Are you kidding me? The stack of unread issues lying around my house caused me to break out into hives…

Ha! Don’t I know that feeling.

Do I think we need more women in higher places in government? Hell, yeah! Do I commend Sarah Palin for her achievements? Absolutely. Do I like her choice in footwear? Yes, I admit it, okay.

Do I think she should be in the White House? Hell, no, not in this voter’s opinion. Well, unless she forgets all the stuff she preaches says and mandates napping time each day for all of the multi-tasking madwomen in this country. (And madmen — hey, I’m all about equality.)

Corporate carnivores

Just back from a sales meeting and thought I’d share with you a few key phrases I overheard during one of the presentations. I was a little confused about what they meant, so I took a stab* at translating them:

“The turkey’s on the table” – If you watch less of the Today show and work harder, fatty poultry products will magically appear in your kitchen/bonus check.

“There’s still meat on the bone” – Take your clients to lunch to discuss business opportunities and eat the steak off of their plates.

“Like shooting fish in a barrel” – Um, go attack harmless life forms with no chance of escape…because you can?

Thank God I heard at least one “go after the low-hanging fruit” because, frankly, I was concerned about everyone’s sodium intake and cholesterol.

*no forks were used to stab this blog post, only my caffeine-deprived wit

(I think I need to stop at the store tonight and pick up the fourth season of The Office on dvd.)